7 Hidden Signs You’re Are Living on Autopilot and How to Stop
Create Space for What Really Matters (Even if You’re Crazy Busy)
You know that feeling you get when you have driven somewhere, arrived, and you suddenly realized you barely remember your drive there - You realize you’d been driving on autopilot? How often do you think you are on autopilot as you go through life? It may be more than you think. We don’t notice it as much, but it does happen - just like in the car. It sneaks into your daily life unless you make a practice of being intentional.
And the problem with not being intentional in your life is that you are wasting a lot of your time on things just don’t matter to you. This eats up the time that is available for fun, family and the things that light you up. In this post, I’ll share 7 subtle signs you might be living less intentionally than you think and give you 5 powerful ways to start living with more purpose.
Sign #1 You default to routine without questioning it
Routines are not a bad thing. I didn’t realize how remarkably useful they are until recent years. When I was younger I prided myself on being a go with the flow kind of person–spontaneous, adaptable, always ready for something new. I didn’t realize at that point how incredibly helpful routines can be in helping you reach your goals and dreams.
Routines work. They’ve actually helped me be more intentional with my life. The problem is when you don’t question if the routines you default to day in and day out are in alignment with what you want and need at this point in your life.
Here’s a common one that I’ve been guilty of and still am seduced by frequently - reaching for my phone before I get out of bed in the morning. I’ll tell myself I need to check the weather, and then, I’ll just take a quick look at the news and before you know it time is slipping away.
Or what about the tendency to check email as soon as you open the laptop and every time you hear that ding. Very inefficient.
Or how about asking someone how was their day, without really being present to truly listen and connect? I could easily keep going with more examples. The point is, we often do things out of habit without being fully present. The opposite of this is being intentional and focused on whatever it is you are doing at that moment because you made a conscious decision to do it.
Sign #2 You say yes automatically
How often do you find yourself accepting invitations, making commitments, or agreeing to requests of your time, without checking first to see if they align with your priorities. To be able to honestly answer this question, you have to think about what your true priorities are from time to time and be really clear in your mind as to what they are. If you are like me, you need to remind yourself of these. I do this pretty much daily in the front pages of my seasonal journal.
Sign #3 You fill silence and free time with distraction
We are constantly entertained these days in one way or another, so much so that most people reach for their phone every time there is a pause —whether this is when you are in line, in a waiting room, or even during meals. The question to ask yourself is, “how comfortable are you waiting with nothing to do but simply sitting and observing? Trust me, if you are resonating with this, you are not alone. I’ve made huge strides in this area, but I’m still working on it.
Sign #4 You rarely pause to celebrate life
How much of your life these days feels like a constant to-do list? Conversely, how much time do you spend lingering to savor life–the feel of the breeze on your skin? The beauty of nature? The taste of your food? We may think we don’t have time for savoring life, but in reality it only takes seconds of presence scattered throughout the course of a day to turn a mediocre day into an enjoyable one. Most people just don’t intentionally do this. The pressure is always on to go go go and do do do that it becomes challenging to break out of that pattern. It takes practice. It takes intention.
Sign #5 You’re constantly future-focused
Have you ever been on vacation and you are already planning your next one? Or eating your breakfast and already focused on what you are going to make for lunch and dinner? There is nothing wrong with planning - living intentionally actually requires planning. The problem comes in when you are always planning forward and missing the moments right here in the now. Most people do this. In fact it becomes a challenge not to. It requires a certain amount of awareness to notice that you are doing it, and then intentionally stop and be present.
Sign #6 You can’t remember the last time you felt awe
We get inspiration and feel wonderful inside when we feel awe. Yet all too often, nature, music, art and the things that may easily invoke a sense of awe, simply blend into the background. Awe isn’t just for sights like a trip to the grand canyon, it’s right out your back door–when you look up and notice how blue the sky is today or how??? Feeling awe requires you to intentionally slow down and notice things.
Sign #7 You feel busy but unfulfilled
There’s a good chance that if the productivity is there, but you are not feeling joy and connection, you aren’t being truly intentional with your time. It’s easy to find yourself in this place. I’ve certainly been there. Every day started to feel like I was on the same treadmill–wake up get ready for work, work all day, come home, eat, start prepping for the next day and then do it all over again. The good thing is there is a way out of this state of being– it’s living with greater intention. It’s actually the way out of all these signs that we’ve been talking about.
Now let’s talk about 5 ways you can be more intentional and make the most of your life now and in the future.
#1 Ask yourself good questions
Here’s a good daily question for you: Instead of just asking yourself, “What do I need to do today?” Also ask, “What do I need today to feel well and nurtured?” and “What would make my heart happy today?” This helps you look beyond all the responsibilities and the demands of other people to include you in the equation too.
Then quarterly or at a minimum annually, set some time aside to ask yourself, “What matters most right now?” Find a place to post these things where you can remind yourself of them often. As I mentioned earlier, I list these in the front of my journal - I include my core values here and the main goals I’m working on.
It’s important to make a thoughtful plan when you are asking yourself the question about what matters most to you. This will help you ensure that your day to day activities align with your values and priorities.
If you don’t currently use a journal, this is something I highly recommend even if it’s just a lined notebook. My seasonal journal is probably my most effective tool for keeping myself intentional. I not only ask myself these questions, but I use it to practice positivity in the areas of my life that I need it most. Much of my journal time isn’t in the traditional sense that most people use a journal. If you are interested in finding out more about this, you can read my post How to Use Intentional Journaling to Change Your Life.
#2 Interrupt routines with micro-adventures.
Try walking down a different street, cook a cuisine you’ve never tried before or go explore a place you’ve never been. Doing new things and exploring new options exercises your curiosity muscle and helps you be more present to what you are doing while you are doing it. This is b because new things require greater focus, helping you to practice being more mindful and present.
3 Practice single-tasking.
This is very similar to the last one, but you don’t have to go on a micro-adventure to do it. Decide to practice giving full attention to certain activities such as eating, having a conversation, or even cleaning up the kitchen. When you are mindful, you are intentional with your movements and more likely to find efficiency or how you can best enjoy something.
#4 Schedule moments of awe.
One of my favorite ways to get a little awe into my day is to take a walk at sunrise or sunset. I just love the way the light makes everything look at these times of day. In the morning you may notice the dew sparkling on the grass or even a spiderweb. And the sky is an easy place to search for awe–whether it is the color of the sky, or the clouds or the starry sky.
Also taking a moment to look at something in nature a little longer than you normally would can invite a sense of awe. You might notice the patterns of color in a flower, tiny ants doing their work or patterns of fuzz on leaves. Or perhaps you watch the way a turtle pedals it’s tiny webbed feet as it swims in the water, instead of simply noticing his head and his shell. There are endless fascinating things to watch in nature.
#5 Reclaim your “yes” and “no.”
Do this by slowing down your response time. You usually don’t have to give an answer immediately. Take advantage of this whenever you can to practice giving yourself time to consider your priorities and your needs. It’s okay to say, “let me check my schedule and get back to you tomorrow”. This gives you time to consider and say yes to what lights you up and no to what drains you. You can choose what you do–with intention, instead of obligation.
Practicing all five of these suggestions can dramatically change your life. It has mine. The reality is, we never know how long we are going to be here. And life is too short to sleepwalk through it, get to the end, and wish you’d done things differently. You can make small intentional shifts today to ensure you live a life well lived.
This is my hope for you - a life well lived. I hope that you can take away at least one small idea from this post that will help lead you in that direction.