Most of us are chasing the wrong things. I was too. The home. The job. The money. The things the money buys. What we often fail to realize is the true cost — and that none of that is what likely will make us be happy. It wasn’t until I slowed down in a big way and shifted my priorities that I discovered what I really needed and wanted in my life.
In this post I’m sharing 5 surprising things that I learned when I took steps to radically slow down — and why you too just might find your own joy hiding in unexpected places.
Minimalism Can Lead to Greater Happiness
One of the first — and honestly most freeing — lessons I learned was that I need way less than I thought I needed to be happy. I don’t need a home that people walk into and say, “wow, you’ve got a really nice home.” I just need one that is simple, comfortable and lets me feel cozy and at ease. After all a house isn’t for show, it is for living in and finding ease and relaxation.
I don’t need a closet full of clothes, shoes, purses and accessories. This is particularly true since I no longer work in an office setting, but I’ve also found that I’m quite happy with the two purses that I absolutely love - one for everyday and one for travel and that’s enough. I don’t need any more than that.
I don’t need a new car. As long as it runs well and gets me where I’m going, it fulfills its purpose.
Time and again, I find that as I reduce the excess things in my home, I feel lighter, freer, less anxious. Having less can actually reduce your level of stress–not to mention, it’s less overwhelming to have less to take care of.
I Can Control Email, Instead of Letting it Control Me
The second thing I’ve learned is that you don’t get penalized by the email police if you don’t check your email after hours, on the weekend or even every day. Finally realizing this lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I had let email control my time way too much. The truth? Most emails don’t need a lightning-fast response — or even a response at all for that matter.
Slower Living Leads to More Meaningful Conversations
Once I started protecting my time a little better, I noticed something else–I really did have time to sit and listen to the people that are important to me. I just had to make them a priority. They actually were a priority, I just kept moving things that were less important in front of them. Work will always be there. The people you care most about may not be.
In the past, I didn’t think I enjoyed simply sitting around shooting the breeze with someone. Now I realize the reason that I didn’t enjoy casual conversations such as these was because I was feeling guilty about not getting things done. When I let go of the need to always be accomplishing something, connecting with people became so much more meaningful and fulfilling.
Stress Relief Happens Naturally With a Slow Living Lifestyle
The fourth thing that surprised me is that slowing down didn’t just change my schedule–it changed how I felt inside my own body. I had been way more stressed out than I realized. It is so easy to get used to the way stress feels that it begins to feel normal over time. It feels like the only way you can truly self assess your level of stress is to completely disengage for a while. And by this, I don’t mean go on vacation and spend time running around trying to see all the things.
In my opinion, a week’s vacation for most people isn’t even enough to down regulate completely. You spend the first few days letting go of work and the last few days starting to think about what you need to do when you get back. So you might get one or two days of really stepping away from everything and truly relaxing. I remember the first time I took a 2 week vacation. I was surprised at the difference. I quickly became a big believer in the value of more time off at once.
A study by Harvard researchers found that participants practicing slow living techniques experienced a 47% reduction in stress markers, such as cortisol levels. This really doesn’t surprise me–if anything, from my own experience, I’m not surprised that the impact isn’t even greater. When I finally slowed down enough to really feel the difference, it was like my whole nervous system truly had rebooted. Slowing down didn’t just change my schedule and the things I was doing–it changed how I felt inside my own body and I’m sure my body appreciated that.
Root Causes of Lack of Time
Looking back, I can see that so much of the chaos I lived in was self-created. I thought I was doing my best and that the things that were creating so much of a struggle for me were outside my control. Lately I’ve realized that was not true. I was the main cause of my lack of time. Here are some examples of what I mean by that.
Keep A Priority List
For one thing, I did everything I was asked to do at work without protest, even if I didn’t have time to do it well. Had I been smart, I would have communicated the priorities and asked where new projects should be placed. While I did that more towards the end of my career, there were years I did not know how to do this or I was too scared to speak up. The reality is, most managers appreciate being apprised of your current priorities and knowing that you are organized enough to be able to easily communicate this to them.
Communicate Time Expectations
In general, both at work and outside of that, I didn’t communicate expectations of how long things were going to take or how much time I actually had available. Even when I did communicate my availability, I wasn’t strong enough or didn’t know how to enforce the boundaries on my time.
Leave Time for Seeking Efficiency
I also did many things with very little thought about how I was going about it. It seemed faster and easier to do things the way I had always done them. As a result, quite frequently, I didn’t leave myself open for opportunities to do things more efficiently or to question if I should even do them at all.
Put a High Value on Your Time
I also didn’t plan enough ahead of time, so I was often hurrying to catch up. Mostly, I was the one that wasn’t valuing my time enough. If I had placed a very high value on myself and my time, perhaps I would have started slowing down, taking care of myself and enjoying life more years ago.
Recap on How to Embrace a Slower Pace of Life
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You may be happy with less than you think.
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Don’t let email run the roost. Choose when and if you want to answer.
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If you are always trying to keep conversations quick, there’s a good chance you may be doing too much.
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Your body needs rest and breaks-short and long ones. It will thank you for it.
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Consider how much of your lack of time is self created.
What I’ve really learned is that slowing down wasn’t just about doing less — it was about becoming more present, allowing myself more. More time. More space. And what followed was contentment–a true feeling that I am fully enjoying my life..
If there’s one thing I hope you take away from my thoughts here, it’s this:
You might already have everything you need to feel deeply happy — it’s just been buried under too much doing.
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